I Built You a Cake

In which everyone on the Internet is amazing.

• You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
• You: HEY
• Stranger: HI
• You: BILLY MAYS HERE
• Stranger: OMG
• You: I KNOW
• Stranger: YOU'RE ALIVE <3
• You: I'VE COME TO MAKE ONE LAST AMAZING OFFER FROM THE GREAT BEYOND
• Stranger: WHAT IS IT?!
• You: REMEMBER TO EAT YOUR OVALTINE
• You: THAT'S WHAT WOULD HAVE KEPT ME FROM DOING ALL THAT BLOW
• You: DON'T DRINK IT
• Stranger: REALLY? I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT. THANKS BILLY.
• You: EAT THE OVALTINE
• You: THAT'S A VERY IMPORTANT PART TO REMEMBER
• Stranger: I'LL NEVER FORGET.
• You: THAT'S GREAT
• You: SAY
• You: YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT YELLING TOO
• You: I THINK I'D LIKE YOU TO TAKE MY PLACE AS THE GREAT LEADER OF THE OXY CLEAN BRAND
• Stranger: WELL.. THE TRUTH IS... I WAS ACTUALLY HIRED TO TAKE YOUR PLACE.
• You: OH
• You: WELL
• Stranger: YEAH
• You: I'M GLAD THE BRAND IS IN CAPABLE HANDS
• Stranger: IT MEANS A LOT COMING FROM YOU.
• Stranger: YOU'RE MY IDOL
• You: YES, COMING FROM ME
• You: BILLY MAYS
• You: THE ONE AND ONLY
• You: IN THE FLESH, SO TO SPEAK
• Stranger: I MISS YOU
• You: I MISS FEELING MORE CORPOREAL
• You: BUT I'LL TAKE WHAT I CAN GET
• Stranger: AT LEAST YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD HERE.
• You: YES, OF COURSE. HOW GREAT IT IS THAT, BY PURE CHANCE, I WOULD FIND MY SUCCESSOR.
• You: YOU'RE DOING A REAL BANG-UP JOB
• You: KEEP ON KEEPING ON
• You: AND REMEMBER, EAT THE OVALTINE
• You: I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH
• Stranger: I WILL BILLY. I ALWAYS WILL.
• You: THANKS FRIEND. AND REMEMBER, EVERY TIME AN AVALANCHE BEGINS, IT'S ME, SHOUTING FROM HEAVEN.
• Stranger: THAT'S DEEP.
• You: I WAS ALWAYS FOND OF SNOW. SO TO...SO TO SPEAK.
• Stranger: YEAHH.. I HEARD THAT ABOUT YOU BILLY.
• Stranger: BUT BILLY I HAVE TO GO. I NEED TO GO AND DO A COMMERCIAL FOR OXY CLEAN BEFORE THEY ASK THAT BRITISH GUY TO DO IT.
• You: OH HELL NO. GO! TELL THE WORLD! SHARE THE GOOD NEWS THAT IS REALLY REALLY REALLY CLEAN GROUT.
• Stranger: I WILL. I'LL TELL IT GOOD BILLY. FOR YOU.
• You: AVENGE ME!
• Stranger: I LOVE YOU.
• You have disconnected.
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